10 Gifts For People You Don't Like

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What do you buy for that person you just can’t stand? Whether it’s a relative from hell, a friend you don’t really feel close to any more or a secret Santa present for a colleague you loathe, here are 10 gifts that involve minimum thought and zero effort.
The dreaded gift... a novelty mug
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The dreaded gift... a novelty mug

10) The small gift

This will ideally involve something that costs very little. It might be a magazine, a quirky little cushion or mug, a small item of jewellery or a small board game. There’s often a rack of little boxed items costing less than a fiver dotted around newsagents, entitled Buddhism for Beginners or Voodoo Doll Stress Reliever that might fit the bill.

They'll be set up for the year after receiving your gift
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They'll be set up for the year after receiving your gift

9) The toiletry gift set

A Christmas or birthday special, the merest modicum of research will reveal something that your intended giftee wears or likes. Big brands such as Nivea, Dove and Sure produce gift/holiday sets that contain everything from shower gel to lip balm.
Alternatively you could choose a themed selection: One Direction, a football team and Twilight are three ideas for younger and older recipients. The added bonus: if it’s well received you can also buy it again next year.
The main aim is to make them a laughing stock
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The main aim is to make them a laughing stock

8) The funny gift

However hard it may seem, try to put yourself in the mind of your target, and think about what he or she would find amusing or useful. Consider one of the following: a practical joke set, a merkin, fancy dress, "blood bath shower gel", or other nonsense. 


The classic slogan t-shirt aka the easiest gift ever
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The classic slogan t-shirt aka the easiest gift ever

7) The clothing gift

A funky but cheap T-shirt or pair of socks can actually be quite a cool present, and requires little thought. A logo, a phrase such as To err is human, to arr is pirate, or ANBG – That’s bang out of order, or go for something featuring any reference to films, such as Goodfellas, Top Gun or  Rocky. A funny tee will keep most young men happy – just check the size.
Who wouldn't want a carrot shaped whisk?
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Who wouldn't want a carrot shaped whisk?

6) The cooking implement gift

Nothing expensive or weird – buying a wok for someone you don’t have any time for would just be bizarre. However, salt and pepper shakers, novelty-shaped cooking tools, cookie cutters or pasta measurers might just do the trick. If your recipient fancies his or herself as a low-grade Jamie Oliver then perhaps a novelty apron could be in order, simultaneously massaging their ego and making them a laughing stock to people like you.
Go for something that's particularly difficult to interpret
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Go for something that's particularly difficult to interpret

5) The ornament gift

Ideal for an odd aunt or weirdly neurotic friend, any vase, table display or little porcelain figure will probably have an uncertain future. It could be loved for its unique qualities; it could end up in a spare room or a garage; it could find its way into a car boot sale; or it could mysteriously get broken and go into the dustbin. For these reasons, try to go for something that you don’t like or that is easily forgettable.

Feelings towards person = price spent on alcoholic gift
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Feelings towards person = price spent on alcoholic gift

4) The alcoholic gift

Mathematicians have proven that there is an inverse correlation between the quality of alcohol purchased for a person and your direct loathing of them.
In other words, a four pack of store-brand lager sends out a clear message of contempt, while a nice looking (but not necessarily expensive) bottle of wine shows a little more respect. 
Obnoxious teenagers (above the age of 18, naturally) will find a home for spirits of any kind at university and house parties.
At least there's plenty of choice when it comes to books
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At least there's plenty of choice when it comes to books

3) The book gift

Try to find out what your recipient likes and dislikes, and what books he or she possess already, before buying. Dislike is one thing, being downright insulting by buying chick-lit for a burly 20-year-old man is another. Ask a partner/parent/friend for ideas way before the occasion and then get it over and done with early. If the number-one choice is not available, then why not look for something similar – they're often listed online – and you might be able to pre-order something that has not yet been released. That should earn you some brownie points. 
Easy to find, and you could also help them gain weight
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Easy to find, and you could also help them gain weight

2) The chocolate gift

For all levels of displeasure: a box of Ferrero Rocher or Black Magic is okay, but not particularly loaded with fulsome praise. You might want to go for something a little more high-end, perhaps, because you’re being badgered into spending more than you’d like to by a partner. In these circumstances opt for a personalised selection from Thorntons or another chocolate maker of repute. If you want to be really mean (or it's Secret Santa) get creative with the message. 
A gift that requires no thought beforehand is the best sort
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A gift that requires no thought beforehand is the best sort

1) The voucher gift

An absolute winner: you don’t even need to bother thinking of a type of present, and the accompanying card is free! Some gift cards don’t even reveal the value of the voucher, so your recipient can have a nice – or a satisfyingly disappointing – surprise when they arrive at the till. The other option is to buy a voucher for an online retailer – low effort, but offers lots of options. 
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