Right, I am just having a laugh here.. but this might actually help some men and women on eBay communicating with each other better. ;-) It really does seem like we are two different species, from from Venus, another from Mars... I am sure we all can relate to this.. ;-)
Womens language translated
Yes = No
No = Yes
Maybe = No
I'm sorry = You'll be sorry
We need.. = I want
It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now!
Do what you want.. = You'll pay for this later!
We need to talk = I need to complain to you, about you
Sure.. Go ahead = I don't want you to.
I'm not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!
You're so manly = You need a shave and a shower
You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs
This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house
I want new curtains = ... and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper...
Hang the picture there = NO!! I mean hang it there!
I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep
Do you love me? = I am going to ask for something expensive
How much do you love me? = I did something today you really are not going to like!
I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV
Am I fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful
You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
Are you listening to me? = Too late, you are dead
Was that the baby? = Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep.
I'm not yelling!!! = Yes I am yelling, because I think this is important!
The same old thing = Nothing
Nothing = Everything
Nothing, really = It's just that you are such an idiot!
Mens language translated
I'm hungry = I'm hungry
I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy
I'm tired = I'm tired
I've gotta go = Get out of the way and stay away until it clears
What's wrong = I don't see why you are making such a big deal about this
What's wrong? = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now?
Yes, I like the way you cut your hair = I liked it better before
Yes, I like the way you cut your hair = £50 and it doesn't look that much different!
Yes, I like the way you cut your hair = For £50 they should have GIVEN YOU hair!
Let's talk honey = I'm trying to impress you by showing you that I am a deep person, and then maybe you would like to have sex with me.
Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for you to sleep with other guys.
Will you marry me? = I might as well get tax benefits for going through these talks
If you had a giggle while reading this guide and could actually relate to some of it, please let me know by voting for it through the button below