Best Secret Santa Gifts for Every Budget

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@eBay_UK_Steve

Witty gift hunter. eBay Elf. Here to help between 9am and 6pm every day. (My evenings are spent tending the Reindeer)
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It ain't easy being a Secret Santa. Not only might you have to buy a pressie for someone who's surname you're not even sure of, but you have to make sure it walks that wobbly tightrope between being funny-but-not-offensive and thoughtful-but-not-creepy. Aaand, you're probably working to some kind of strict budget limit. Honestly, it's minefield and a 'mare. It's a 'marefield.

But don't you get yourself in a tizz, Secret Santa. I've scoured eBay like a tinsel-covered magpie and come up with ten can't-fail pressies that'll cover you in glory and make you the toast of the office/pub/nan's house. Whatever your budget, whoever you're buying for, if you can't find something here then you may as well shave off your beard and tell all the elves to go home, because you are done, Santa me old mate. You've lost it. It's over. Sorry kids, no Christmas this year – Santa can't hack it no more... 
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Under a Quid: Electric Shock Joke Pen


This little fiend is gonna amuse and aggravate in equal measures. Hand it to a colleague, wait for them to click it aaand... zzzap! They get a harmless-but-hilarious electric shock. Just make sure whoever you give it to doesn't leave it lying around when Head Office pay a visit, or they might end up with a fumin' area manager and the sack.  

Buy Now: Electric Shock Joke Pen on eBay
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Under a Fiver: Ring For Tea Desk Bell


Tea is the oil that lubricates the working day – without it, everything grinds to a halt. Files pile up, calls go unanswered, workers slump face-down into their keyboards... It ain't pretty. But a quick ping of this ring-for-tea desk bell and whoever's turn it is will be running off to the kitchen to sort a round of delicious, rejuvenatin' cuppas. 

Buy Now: Ring for Tea/Beer Desk Bell
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Under a Tenner: Tesco Value Christmas T-Shirt


Show that special someone that you really do value their friendship with this truly exquisite seasonal fashion item. Features not one but two arm holes, plus a handy neck opening through which they can insert their head. Has any item of clothing ever been so imbued with the majesty and wonder of Christmas? Nah. It ain't.   

Buy Now: Tesco Value Christmas T-Shirt
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Under £20: Tabletop Pool Table


So Them Upstairs refused your request for a full-sized pool table in the office, despite the very convincing Powerpoint presentation you put together explaining how it'd boost morale and productivity. But at just 69cm by 37cm, this cheeky little number will let your workmates play lunch-break games without even leaving their desks. Look at that titchy chalk! Amazin'.  

Buy Now: Tabletop Pool Table on eBay
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Under £30: Shreddies Flatulence-Filtering Underwear


Got a mate or work colleague who's notorious for ruining everyone's day with truly catastrophic trouser-coughs? Well, once they've slipped on these anti-trump knickers – featuring an odour-neutralising carbon back panel – they'll be able to parp themselves daft without sending everyone around them fleeing in panicked horror. 

Buy Now: Flatulence-Filtering Underwear on eBay

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Under £40: Remote Control Heli-Drone With HD Camera


Off it goes, sailing over the houses, swooping down and soaring skywards, bagging crystal-clear HD footage of scenery and wildlife and your neighbour's cat doing Youtube-worthy tricks. If you've ever wanted to feel like Q off of the James Bond films, have a little mess around with one of these things for an hour. Proper good laugh. 

Buy Now: Remote Control Heli-Drones on eBay
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Under £50: DIY Tattoo Machine Kit


A complete home tattooing kit – with two machines, 54 inks, power supply, the works – mixed in with the high-impact boozing that goes hand-in-hand with Christmas: what could possibly go wrong, eh? Somebody's gonna end up with a very wonky Noddy Holder and a speech bubble reading “Itz Xmaasz!!”, right across their back.  

Buy Now: Complete Tattoo Kit on eBay
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Under £60: Sega Megadrive With 80 Built-In Games


Back in the '90s, the Sega Megadrive was the absolute dog's. (Yeah, it says Sega Genesis on the box, but ignore that, that was its American name). Sonic the Hedgehog! Altered Beast! Golden Axe! Shinobi! They weren't cheap, though, and neither were the games – but now you can get a titchy wireless one, with 80 games, for less than 60 smackers. What a time to be alive!

 Buy Now: Sega Medagrive With 80 Built-in Games on eBay
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Money No Object: Luuov Electric Motorised Longboard


Alright, so 'Back To The Future II' lied to us: it's 2015 and hoverboards are still nowhere to be seen. Gutted. But! You can buy the next best thing: this motorised longboard, which hurtles along at a very tasty top speed of 20mph. Forget buying Granddad that mobility scooter – send him off down the shops on this bad boy instead! 

Buy Now: Luuov Electric Longboard on eBay
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The Cheeky Re-Gift: Peep Show Series 1-7 Boxset


Remember how made up you were to receive 1,010 minutes of the greatest British sitcom of the 21st century? Remember how, halfway through excitedly tearing off the cellophane in preparation for a binge-watch, you realised that you didn't actually have any way of playing DVDs any more? Yeeeah. So: re-gift it to someone who's still living in 2007.  
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Best Secret Santa Gifts for Every Personality

From the bloke in IT you've never spoken to before to your slightly dull brother-in-law, I've picked a cheeky Secret Santa gift to please every character you're likely to draw out of that Christmas hat. Here are my best Secret Santa gifts for every person in your life.
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