Best Secret Santa Gifts for Every Personality

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Witty gift hunter. eBay Elf. Here to help between 9am and 6pm every day. (My evenings are spent tending the Reindeer)

Listen. Come here. Sit down. We've got serious business to discuss. The role of Secret Santa is not one to be taken lightly. The stakes are about as high as they come: get someone's gift bang on target and you'll become a Yuletide legend, spoken of in hushed, reverent tones for years to come. Get it wrong, however, and you might as well take the tree down and throw out all those mince pies, because Christmas is cancelled. And it's all your fault. Nice one, bozo. 

But don't you fret, and don't let all that pressure get to ya,  no matter which type of Secret Santa you've landed, I've gone top-to-bottom through eBay to find some absolute gift-giving winners – follow my lead and your Secret Santa pressies are gonna go down so well that you'll be compelled to blow your cover and ditch your anonymity so that you can bask in all that glorious glory.  
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The Boss: Henry Desk Vacuum Cleaner


Walking a bit of a tightrope here. You don't want to seem overly bum-kissy, but at the same time you don't wanna go and get yourself sacked – clearing your desk out five days before Christmas isn't the ideal result. This working desk vacuum is perfect, though, 'cause even your boss would have to admit that they eat their lunch like they were raised by flippin' chimps.    

 Buy Now: Henry Desk Vacuum Cleaner on eBay
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Your Work Wife: Gagulator Joke Calculator


Your 9am-5pm 'missus' loves a laugh, right? 'Course they do, that's why you love them (ermm, 100% platonically though, obviously).  So stick this Gagulator in “joke mode” and it'll give cheeky, rib-ticklin' answers to any sums you tap into it: “DON'T KNOW”, “ON A BREAK”, “U R THICK”, etcetera etcetera...

Buy Now: Gagulator Joke Calculator on eBay
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That IT Guy Who Communicates Solely In Grunts And Sighs: Sound Machine


He's obvz not big on small talk, chit-chat or lunch-break bantz, so buy that monosyllabic guy from the IT desk something he can use to communicate his thoughts and feelings without having to open his mouth. Feeling enraged? He can fire off a gunshot. Solved a tricky problem? Cash register ka-ching. Made a mistake? Comedy fart noise. 

 Buy Now: Sound Machine on eBay
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Kettle-Shy Intern: 1,150 PG Tips Teabags


She's been here on that apprenticeship whatnot scheme for what, five months now? And how many rounds of tea has she made in all that time? Three, maybe four, tops? Well, nothing says “Make us a bleedin' cuppa, wudya?” like presenting somebody with a teabag – and nothing says it 1,150 times like presenting them with 1,150 teabags. Honestly. Kids. Cuh!

Buy Now: 1,150 PG Tips Teabags on eBay
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The Office Lightweight: Half-Pint Pint


There's always one: when everyone in the office goes out for – ahem – “a cheeky half” of a Friday evening, the Office Lightweight will literally have an actual half pint, usually on someone else's tab, before slyly scuttling off home. No colleague-snogging or bottom-photocopying for them. Booo! Well, they can take this down the pub with them and at least look less of a lightweight for the 17 minutes they're in attendance.

Buy Now: Half-Pint Pint Glass on eBay 
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Nana (Bless ‘Er): Digital Photo Frame


You know what Nanas love, more even than crumpets, singing grandkids and money-off coupons combined? Old photos – nothing gets a Nana sighing contentedly like old photos. So here's what you do: next time you're dropping by Nana's, half-inch her photo albums, scan in some of her faves, then load 'em onto this. You just won Christmas. 

Buy Now: Digital Photo Frames on eBay
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The Old Man aka Dad: Nevo All-In-One Universal Remote Control


A remote control, perched next to Dad on the arm of 'his' chair, is basically the old fella's comfort blanket. At least, it was that way until his living room filled with bleepin' boxes, each  with a near-identical remote, every volume tweak or channel skip causing all manner of faff and confusion and shouting... Here. Make the poor bugger's life simple again, yeah?

Buy Now: Nevo All-in-One Universal Remote on eBay
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Your Boring Brother-In-Law: Things We Didn't Know Loo Roll


What do you get for the man who doesn't have everything, but has no apparent hobbies or interests  outside of 'get up, go to work, come home, eat tea, sleep, repeat'? Well, you do know one detail about him for certain: he poos. He poos, because everyone poos. So get him some loo paper with in-ter-es-ting facts on – might even help make him a teensy bit less dull...

Buy Now: Things We Didn't Know Loo Roll on eBay
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Your 12-Year-Old Niece: Wireless Bluetooth Keyboard For Android Phones


Her parents aren't going to thank you, but whatevs – you'll be a hero in her eyes. Because in the fast-paced, cut-throat world of tweenage girls, coming second is coming last. This QWERTY keyboard works with her mobile phone, saving her from having to fire off her daily avalanche of texts, tweets, hashtags and updates by frantically fiddlin' about with her screen. <3 <3 <3

Buy Now: Wireless Bluetooth Keyboards on eBay
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Your 8-Year-Old Nephew: Remote Control Speedboat


Taking the little fella down the park just isn't the non-stop laugh riot is used to be, is it? He's gotten a bit big for the swings and slides and so on, so buy him something that'll really get his blood pumpin' – a totally ninja-looking remote-control boat. Imagine the look on his little face as he sends duck after duck quaking and flapping across the pond! Priceless.  

 Buy Now: Remote Control Speed Boats on eBay
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