Holiday Kitsch Your Guests Will Love

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Written by: giantsbooks
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A sweater only your Aunt Edna could love.
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A sweater only your Aunt Edna could love.

1. Have a Campy Christmas

I have to say, I love the holidays. To me, it doesn't matter how hackneyed or cheesy they get, there's nothing like donning a  reindeer sweater, pouring an  egg nog, queuing up the  Bing Crosby Christmas LP, and sharing the holiday joy with friends and family. These and other kitschy delights are now only a few clicks away. 
Looking good, baby!
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Looking good, baby!

2. Deck Out the Family

I'm not sure when it became a "thing," but it wouldn't be Christmas without ... an ugly sweater.  The frightening thing is, these come in so many varieties, including sweater vestsSanta sweaters, you name it.  (In keeping with the holiday spirit, you may want to keep extra ugly garments on hand for your guests to wear, too.)  
And it's fairly mandatory that you deck the  baby in Christmas clothes. The good news here is, there's no such thing as tacky; it's always cute on a baby. (Unless they're baby clothes inspired by Nightmare Before Christmas. Those are just wrong.)
"Hold your horses, reindeer, I'll be up in a minute!"
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"Hold your horses, reindeer, I'll be up in a minute!"

3. Secret Santa

In looking for items in the "so bad that they're good" category, I found a sweater of Santa sitting on a toilet. This is sure to be a hit with the kids at the holiday party, but how do you think it would go over at the office party? Please exercise prudence if you buy this one!  As it happens, that sweater led me to a vast array of Santa-on-a-toilet items — greeting cards, door covers, neckties — a whole product category I never dreamed of. I tip my cap (er, lift my seat) to American entrepreneurialism and the Christmas spirit!
Rudolph, with your nose so bright, won't you adorn my tie tonight?
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Rudolph, with your nose so bright, won't you adorn my tie tonight?

4. Tie One On

Speaking of    Christmas neckties, I actually have a rack full of them. Thanks, mom! While some of these can be classy, many more are as hideous as the sweaters. The options seem endless — Santa, reindeer, snowmen, angels, Grinches, elves, trees, Snoopy, Mickey Mouse, even Dilbert and other characters who you may have thought never celebrated a holiday! 
Fake trees like this even come pre-lit!
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Fake trees like this even come pre-lit!

5. Totally Tacky Trees

know choosing a real or fake Christmas tree is a matter of longstanding debate, but I have a lot of family in the timberlands of the Pacific Northwest, so you'll never find a fake Christmas tree in our house. Whichever type your family chooses, don't forget to accent the tree with a weird and wonderful  tree skirt.  You can enliven the house and delight your guests with  various novelty decorations, including some pretty weird stuff. (I've even seen decorations themed to the California Raisins.) 
Even tackier - and less messy - than a fake Christmas tree: a Christmas tree wall decal! (Look closely!)
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Even tackier - and less messy - than a fake Christmas tree: a Christmas tree wall decal! (Look closely!)

6. Fake the Faux Tree

And why take up space in your living room with any tree, real or fake? You can just slap a  decal on the wall and fool your guests' eyes with a picture-perfect Christmas tree. If you do that, you may want to get some Christmas fragrance, or at least a Christmas candle, to fool your guests' noses as well.  
Sittin' and Suppin' on Santa
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Sittin' and Suppin' on Santa

7. It Gets Even Better

If you really want to go over the top on tackiness, make sure no corner of your home escapes the Christmas spirit. Try some  Santa chair covers for the dining room, a  Christmas table runnerChristmas bowlsChristmas cups, and even special  Christmas silverware, in cute little Santa silverware-holders. 
Anything worth doing at Christmas is worth over-doing.  
Sit on Santa's lap and tell him what you want!
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Sit on Santa's lap and tell him what you want!

8. Christmas All Through The House

You don't ever want to forget about Christmas, even when nature calls. As a happy reminder, how about a Santa or snowman  toilet seat cover? Don't forget to wash your hands, and dry them on  Christmas towels. Entertain them with  crazy Christmas carols. (And please note the earlier reference in number 6 about Christmas candles and fragrances.)  When you're all done, you can tuck yourself in at night in some cozy  Christmas sheets, which are also sure to be a hit with visiting houseguests.
Don't let the goyim have all the fun!
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Don't let the goyim have all the fun!

9. Twas the Night Before Hanukkah

Just in case you think Christians have a monopoly on holiday season tackiness, I'm here to tell you that I'm an equal opportunity kitsch collector. I enjoy applying my bad taste to my Hanukkah celebrations as well.  
Go ahead, put on a hideous Hanukkah sweater. Find the weirdest menorah you can, and light it up. And never mind Christmas carols: Play some good Jewish comedy albums, or music, even —  Twas the Night Before Hanukkah is an awesome CD. Either way, you'll always leave 'em laughing. 
Books also make a wonderful holiday gift!
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Books also make a wonderful holiday gift!

Thanks For Reading!

Find more holiday cheer, inspiration and gift ideas on eBay. If you liked this guide, please take a look at some of   my other guides, many of which are sports-related. I wrote one about  how sports fans plug in to technology, one about the   most recent NBA playoffs (hail to the Warriors!), and several about baseball, especially my beloved San Francisco Giants  (do I need to point out that they are the defending champions as well, at least for a few more weeks?). Thanks!  
Meow-y Kitt-mas!
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Meow-y Kitt-mas!
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