One Direction's Head is On Everything

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A 1D Superfan reveals the weirdest One Direction merchandise your money can buy


One Direction are more than a band, they're a lifestyle. When fans really commit to the 1D life it becomes about more than just getting all the latest singles and gig tickets. Merchandise is the new badge of honour for true 1D superfans.

If by merchandise you were thinking we meant band t-shirts or perhaps a 1D branded mug, you've not truly glimpsed the eye-opening world of One Direction merchandise. It gets, well, unique.

We caught up with a true One Direction superfan, Greg Collins, to find the weirdest and wackiest 1D gear out there to buy. Warning, this is about to get freaky.

Greg last went to see 1D at Wembley in the summer. He described it as, "Amazing, mind-blowing stuff. Everyone there is totally involved with the music. It's what I imagine seeing the Beetles would be like, in terms of love and atmosphere from fans.

"On the walk back a security guard was playing a One Direction song through his megaphone. That stopped after about 10 seconds and the crowd kept singing – filling the entire Wembley Way. It was so surreal."

Now to the oddest merchandise that wants to immortalise One Direction.
Feeling flush?
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Feeling flush?

1. One Direction Toilet Paper


What better way to wipe away the mess of reality than with the faces of your favourite pop stars? Some might see this as more for those that dislike One Direction.

Our 1D Superfan Says:  "This is a thing but it's not for me. I'd never want to throw anything One Direction down the toilet!"

Rock and doll
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Rock and doll

2. One Direction Dolls


When done with a mammoth 1D video-viewing binge on YouTube where can a true fan turn? To their 1D dolls of course. 

Much like the Action Man dolls these figures stand tall in plastic form donning the outfits fans know and love. Presumably they're for playing along to the videos with. That and freaking out house guests.

Our 1D Superfan Says:  "Maybe when I was younger I could go for these. It's great that there's this option out there for fans these days. When I was young all we had was Action Man or Ken."

Sweet sensations
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Sweet sensations

3. One Direction Cake Bars


These cake bars look like delicious chocolate covered sponge, but they come from a box with pictures of mouthless 1D cartoon characters on the front. So they should taste better, right?

Our 1D Superfan Says:  "One Direction are sweet so this makes sense. Might be worried about the ingredients to be honest. They'd put their names on anything. I'd try it though."

You can take 1D to bed
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You can take 1D to bed

4. One Direction Pillows


If One Direction in front of you on the television was not enough, cram a 1D pillow in behind too. Sandwiched between One Direction. The pillows feature the singers posing so every time you sit down they're there with you.

Our 1D Superfan Says:  "I've actually got these on my want list – there's a bed spread on that list too."

Pow!
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5. One Direction Comics


Yes, One Direction has made it from the stage and into their own comic book. Many speed-lines drawn behind the guys make for what appears to be an action packed adventure.

Our 1D Superfan Says:  "I'd love to see these, maybe if it was based on real events it would be even better, as you could learn more about them too."

License to thrill
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License to thrill

6. One Direction Driver's License


Since a lot of 1D fans are probably too young to drive, what better merchandise than a driver's license? They not only get to pretend they can hit the roads behind the wheel, but also get to fake actually being one of the stars. Trying to use this on the roads probably isn't a good idea, even if you do have the manicured hair of a pop star.

Our 1D Superfan Says:  "These are great. I would take it out with me and show girls at bars as a chat up line. Maybe pretend I'm related to one of them."

Thumbs up for Harry
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Thumbs up for Harry

7. One Direction Nails


What's the one place you thought 1D might not be able to make an appearance? Nails, you say? Wrong, they have fake nails for that too. They're even complete with faces looking up, so you can learn them like the back of your hand.

Our 1D Superfan Says:  "People are clad head to toe in this sort of gear at the gigs. It's normal there."

If 1D have the keys to your heart
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If 1D have the keys to your heart

8. One Direction Keychain


These mini figurine One Direction key chains feature a photo of the pop star that's signed, mass produced of course. Then there is a figurine that's, apparently, supposed to match the person on the packaging. Maybe if you squint and stand really far away it could pass for a look alike.

Our 1D Superfan Says:  "If it doesn't look like them what's the point?"

Cuddle up on the sofa with 1D
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Cuddle up on the sofa with 1D

9. One Direction Snuggie


If the thought of throwing a normal rug over you to keep warm isn't fan-focused enough, this 1D snuggie should do the trick. With armholes the wearer can stay warm while still playing with 1D dolls or flicking through 1D best hits on TV. Or walk the streets in it to really get a reaction.

Our 1D Superfan Says:  "Yeah I'd definitely get that, I would love 1D to snuggle me in real life. Ha!"
Plug and play
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Plug and play

10. One Direction USB Drives


If a fan already has a computer covered in One Direction stickers, in front of a wall of One Direction posters, sat at the machine in a One Direction t-shirt, a normal USB just won't do. So these 1D USB sticks should help the situation, featuring the boys' faces and key ring connector so it never need leave the owner's side.

Our 1D Superfan Says: "Yeah these are ideal for all my One direction music, obvs."
A breath of fresh air
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A breath of fresh air

11. One Direction Toothpaste


One Direction are clearly well kept lads, with pearly whites any mother would be proud of. So what better way to help other people follow their lead than to sponsor a toothpaste? Normal Colgate need not clutter a One Direction fan's bathroom anymore thanks to this 1D toothbrush, toothpaste and mouthwash.

Greg says: "Why not just get everything 1D? It makes sense. Every room!"
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12. One Direction Pez Dispensers


These Pez heads actually look quite like the boys. But are they as sweet? The signed Pez dispenser should take care of the sugar hits to keep even the most devoted fan dancing to 1D pop hits into the wee small hours of the night.

Our 1D Superfan Says:  "Ideal for the desk at work, I'd be the coolest kid in town."
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