Permanently avoid speeding tickets and Police stops!

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There seem to be a number of people on ebay selling various guides/e-books/advice etc. on how to avoid speeding traps, prosecutions and other road traffic matters with simple steps.  The majority are very cheap, so if you have bought one (or are thinking of buying one), you're probably not very much out of pocket if the information turns out to be garbage.

Unfortunately, the information contained within them is so hideously out of date (or just plain wrong), that the cost you're likely to bear is that the tips won't work and you will be prosecuted.  At best, some of the info is just laughable, whilst others are dangerously misleading and will probably land you in more trouble.  One of my personal favourites is the "be nice and polite to the officer" advice in the hope that you'll demonstrate what a fine upstanding citizen you are.  If you need an e-book to tell you this, I really don't think you're smart enough to be driving on a road.

There is, however, a very simple driving technique that will prevent you ever being prosecuted for speeding, going through a red light or being harassed in any way.  It is shockingly simple, and the police use it themselves.  It is not illegal, and if an officer saw you doing it, they would not stop you or even bat an eyelid.  I'm happy to share this info because everyone has a right to know it.

Firstly, though, it's important to dispel a few myths.  As I said, some of the information sold as 'advice' is very poor will either fail or land you in deep trouble.  Here are a few of the most common pearls of wisdom sold on ebay.

1)  "Ask the officer when their speedometer was calibrated.  If it wasn't that day, you're off the hook!"  This info is about 10 - 15 years out of date.  In the dark ages, officers used their own speedometer as evidence of speeding, and had to time their drive between two fixed points on a daily basis, in order to use this evidence to prosecute people.  Today, virtually every traffic officer (the most likely candidate to prosecute you for speeding, as patrol officers tend to simply advise drivers about their speed) uses a VASCAR system which will be calibrated at the police garage by mechanics.  It is not the officer's responsibility, and the checks are done religiously.  Making smart comments about calibration will only help you if the officer is so stricken with laughter that he/she can't speak to you anymore.

2)  "Never produce your documents at the roadside."  There are many ridiculous reasons for this particular gem.  Some seem to claim that the police will 'forget,' or not be bothered if they can't deal with it there and then, and others seem to think that you can confuse the police if they can't get your exact details (driving licence number, for example).  If the police can access driving licence/insurance/MOT details from the roadside, why would this be a problem?  They have been able to do this for a couple of years, which is probably how old this info is.

3)  "Here is a sample letter to send that will prevent any prosecution!"  Of course, the police and courts quake in their boots once they receive a generic letter saying how unfair speed cameras are.  They then remove every GATSO in the force area to stop anyone else getting upset, and refund every penny collected in fines because of a single sheet of A4.  This is the best-case scenario.  The worst are the sample letters that lie about the conduct of the officer/positioning of signs etc.  This is called "perverting the course of justice," which I'll cover next.

4)  "This spray will last forever and make your registration plate invisible to camera, and it's invisible to the naked eye!"  There's about 10% truth in this one.  Yes, the film probably would last forever and a day in lab conditions, but that's not presumably where you'll be keeping your car.  Your plate will actually be hovering a few feet above the road, getting covered in filth and environmental fumes (remember what cars emit?).  You'll be lucky if the spray lasts a few months before it decays.  As for being invisible to the naked eye, this is correct in daylight.  Unfortunately, the whole point is that they reflect the light, so at nighttime your plate WILL show more dazzle than usual, and will stick out like a sore thumb to a half-decent traffic bobby.  All it needs is strong light source (a police vehicle headlight, perhaps?), and it'll reveal itself as being tampered with.  Whilst applying the spray itself isn't illegal, the moment it prevents you being prosecuted for an offence (say, being flashed by a speed camera?), this takes you into the territory of "obstructing police" or "perverting the course of justice," which HAS to be tried at a crown court.  Somewhat more serious than a speeding ticket, then.

Of course, I can't possibly debunk all the rubbish published because of the sheer volume of it.  Hopefully, by showing how wrong the main points are, you'll draw your own conclusions about the rest.  None of the above is secret knowledge, and a bit of time on the internet will back all this up.  Just think about it - if it were really this easy to avoid fines, why would anyone be paying them?  The majority of these sellers are just after easy money for re-circulating the same garbage.

Finally, onto the driving technique to avoid prosecutions.  As you can tell, I don't like any of these far-fetched quick-fix systems, so this is the only reliable method.  Though it is simple, some people may struggle with it because it requires a new outlook on driving, so persevere and it will work.  I have used this for over five years, and I have never been prosecuted or even stopped by the police.

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DON'T DRIVE OVER THE SPEED LIMIT!  IT'S THERE TO PROTECT PEOPLE FROM MORONS WHO VASTLY OVER-ESTIMATE THEIR DRIVING ABILITY AND THINK THEY'RE INVINCIBLE IN THEIR STEEL BOX.  SHOW COURTESEY AND RESPECT TO OTHER ROAD USERS, AND IF YOU ARE CAUGHT SHOW SOME SPINE AND STOP WHINING ABOUT HOW IT'S ALL UNFAIR.  IF YOU'RE MATURE ENOUGH TO DRIVE A POTENTIAL KILLING MACHINE THEN YOU'RE MATURE ENOUGH TO ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR ACTIONS.

Simple, isn't it? 

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