Don’t have a crazily baroque beer stein? You need one, and this tastefully curated list of the most ridiculous beer receptacles can help. Some of them are almost prohibitively pricey (one found in a shipwreck!), but a bunch of ‘em are affordable and deliciously absurd (like the one that looks like a pretzel). Drink them in:
Norman Rockwell, “Bottom of the Sixth” Stein, 1st Edition ($68,300)
This rare 1949 original Miller mug, displaying the famous Norman Rockwell painting is a part of beer history. Quit drinking from cans and start drinking from Americana.
Budweiser Dalmatian Stein ($55)
Besides being beautifully crafted, this ceramic offers the most important quality a man can hope for in a stein: unquestioning loyalty.
Corona Pirate Turtle Stein ($212.50)
Yo ho ho and a bottle of pale lager! Apparently Corona only made 5,000 of these, so if you get your hands on one, snap it up.
Laughing Monk Pewter Stein ($195)
If there’s one thing portly, good-natured monks know, it’s silent contemplation. But if there’s a second thing, it’s beer. This solid pewter stein from the 80s pays proper homage to the sudsiest kind of knowledge.
German Barrel Stein ($30.15)
The freshest flavor comes straight from a cask, but because that’s just not practical, a barrel stein is the next best thing, and this one's made from real wood and copper.
God Bless America Eagle Stein ($42.09)
Europe has long had the lock on stein expertise (the word’s German, for crying out loud). Well if Europe was a fish, this stein would swoop out of the sky and snatch it up in its mouth. Cccawww! Wait, is that the sound eagles make?
Mettlach Pretzel Stein ($225)
Know what goes great with a stein? Pretzels. So kill three Bavarian bread knots with one mug by grabbing this stein designed as if it were made of, yep, pretzels.
Budweiser 1975 Bud Man Stein ($179)
Why does Bud Man wear a bow tie? Why ask why! Try Bud Dry! From the lips of the most awesome superhero ever imagined.
Irish Setter Dog Stein ($147.77)
Guinness = Irish. A Guinness-inspired stein to put Guinness in = more Irish. A Guinness-inspired stein shaped like an Irish Setter holding the iconic Guinness harp = most Irish.
Mettlach Etched Master Stein ($4,900)
This masterpiece from one of the foremast names in steinage will give you serious bragging rights in the stein community, which is probably a thing that exists.
19th Century Bavarian Hunting Horn Stein ($280.75)
If you walk around the tavern with this hunting horn, you're going to attract all the foxes. The stein comes with a brass stand, because sometimes you have to take a break from being the coolest guy in all the rooms.
Ultra Tall Gambrinus Stein ($2,500)
According to the seller, the translation of the inscription is "he who can empty this stein is truly a man". Depicting a painting of a country wedding by Pieter Bruegel the Elder, this thing is 4ft, weighs 35lbs empty, and holds about eight and a half gallons -- so " they who can empty" will probably end up being a more accurate/responsible translation.
Cologne Bellarmine Shipwreck Stein ($5,800)
This thing was recovered from a shipwreck, and it's way better than doubloons. It was crafted in the 1500s, and sports text encouraging you: “don’t forget to drink and eat”. Also, don't forget to watch out for reefs.