Twilight - My review

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I'll start of by saying sorry to any Twilight fans who read this BUT! If your an adult, shame on you.



Twilight is disgustingly cliche` from start to finish. There is constant loop-holes, for example why did Edward fall in love Bella? He doesn't even know her and worst still doesn't get to know her. It makes no logical sense! For example why does Bella hates her life? She acts like her life is a crock of shit, when really, her life is damn near perfect. How much can one person mumble and complain without reason? Apparently forever lol In saying that it's probably because (author) doesn't have any imagination for originality, a vampire and human love story? I mean Edward doesn't have a personality. He is a robot, someone programmed to say ridiculous, sentimental shit. I find it fascinating how Edward is supposed to be one hundred and eight years old but maintains the emotional maturity of a seventeen-year-old boy with an erection for the first time. Then again he’s one hundred and eight and still in high school so what does that tell you?

The acting in the movies felt rehearsed and wooden. The movie feels AT BEST influenced by recent trends like the Hannah Montana generation which is AWFUL! Bella begs Edward to have sex with her for gods sake! That is not a good example for the younger audience that this book/movie is aimed at. Other pathetic lines are;

* Bella: You were right.
Edward: I usually am, but about what in particular this time?

* Your number was up the first time I met you.

* Darkness is so predictable, don't you think?

* Would you understand what I meant if I said I was only human?

* Are you still faint from the run? Or was it my kissing expertise?

* Edward: Bella, I've already expended a great deal of personal effort at this point to keep you alive. I'm not about to let you behind the wheel of a vehicle when you can't even walk straight. Besides, friends don't let friends drive drunk.
Bella: Drunk?
Edward: You're intoxicated by my very presence.

* Your hair looks like a haystack ... but I like it.

I generally hear people saying in Twilights defense "They aren’t written for you". No offense but screw you. The extremely well written Harry Potter books/movies aren't written for me but, just because it isn’t written specifically for my age group doesn’t mean I can’t tell how bad the Twilight books/movies are. That defense doesn't cut it.

Why are the Vampires a bunch of pussys? When did vampires stop being evil creatures of the night that swooped down and ripped you to pieces, sucking your blood and taking your life in a violent manner like the movie 30 days of night? Even when they were seductive they were still fearsome and terrifying. The supposedly badass vampires in Twilight was/is not in anyway menacing. Is it that hard to do? Anne Rice managed to dress the Vampire Lestat in silk and knickers but keep him a brutal, evil killer.

Overall 2 out of 10 (and am being very kind)
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