Zombies: Can't Beat 'Em? Join 'Em!

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So the zombie apocalypse has finally happened, and the whiffy shufflers are absolutely everywhere: On your road, in the park, down the pub, loitering around the shopping precinct... 

But you can't spend the rest of your days cooped up in your cellar. You'll need to head out and scavenge for supplies, and you can safely do so by donning a zombie disguise and staggering around like you're already undead. 

But what kind of zombie look is 'right' for you? There are endless options on eBay – here are a few of our favourites (along with handy 'back stories', so that you can completely immerse yourself in your chosen character)...
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1. Women's Zombie Bride Costume

In terms of things that can ruin your big day, zombie apocalypse has to be right up there with a flooded registry office, a no-show from the caterers or your Uncle Simon getting hammered and challenging your mother-in-law to a fist-fight. 

Buy Now: Women’s zombie bride costumes on eBay    
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2. Men's Zombie Groom Costume

And here's the other half of that ruined wedding. There's not much going on in that decomposing brain, but there is a tiny remnant of his old self, a glimmer of a thought echoing through his shattered skull: "Wonder if I can claim the deposit back from the venue?"

Buy Now: Men’s zombie groom costumes on eBay
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3. Children's Zombie Pyjama-Girl Costume

One minute she was pillow-fighting, eating marshmallows and comparing Bratz dolls with her sleepover pals, the next she was feasting on their brains like a ravenous vulture. They grow up so fast!

Buy Now: Children’s zombie pyjama-girl costumes on eBay
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4. Women's Zombie Convict Costume

This zombie was doing life in prison, and now she's doing death as a stumbling flesh-eater. It's not the greatest existence, but at least she doesn't have to deal with prison food, lock-downs or Big Marge from D-wing any more. 

Buy Now: Women’s zombie convict costumes on eBay
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5. Children's Zombie Schoolboy Costume

While it's certainly a horrifying tragedy that little Billy's school was overrun by the undead – leading to him getting bitten and infected with the zombie virus – in one regard it was a blessing: he'd failed to do his English homework yet again, and Mrs Rogers would've deffo given him double detention. Every cloud! 

Buy Now: Children’s zombie schoolboy costumes on eBay
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6. Men's Zombie Pirate Costume

"Ya-harr! Pieces of eight! Shiver me timbers! Brrraaaaiiins!" And so on. 

Buy Now:  Men’s zombie pirate costumes on eBay
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7. Women's Zombie Cop Costume

If you're law-abiding to a fault, an undead cop may prove to be your downfall come the zombie apocalypse. On the one hand, the only reason they're lurching towards you with their badge shakily held aloft is because they want to eat your brraaaiins – on the other hand, they are an officer of the law, and you don't want to get in trouble for resisting arrest... Quite the moral quandary!   

Buy Now: Women’s zombie cop costumes on eBay
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8. Children's Zombie Skater-Punk Costume

If you find skateboarding yoofs unnerving when they're hanging around bus shelters, swigging alcopops and LMAOing at #fail videos on their phones, imagine how nervous they'll make you when they want to devour your limbs. We blame the parents (and also the airborne zombie virus). 

Buy Now: Children’s zombie skater-punk costumes on eBay
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9. Men's Zombie Pharaoh Costume

A somewhat contentious costume, this one: Is a reanimated Egyptian pharaoh a zombie, or a mummy? Also, what's an Egyptian zombie-mummy doing shuffling along the streets of Basingstoke? Although, to be honest, if you're using this costume to blend into a crowd of zombies, it's unlikely they'll have the smarts to spot the logical fallacy undermining your disguise.  

Buy Now: Men’s zombie pharaoh costumes on eBay
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10. Men's Zombie Doctor Costume

"Does it hurt when I tap here? How about here? Here? How about if I sink my teeth into your delicious shoulder like a starved, rabid animal?"

Buy Now: Men's zombie doctor costumes on eBay
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11. Men's Zombie Gladiator Costume

Inspired by the little-seen post-credits sequence of the hit movie 'Gladiator', in which Russell Crowe's slain Maximus rises from his grave and goes on a flesh-crazed zombie rampage through Rome.  

Buy Now: Men's zombie gladiator costumes on eBay
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12. Zombie-Hunter Costume Set

If you want to scare off zombies rather than blend in with them, this hat/badge/axe set will have them fleeing in terror from the memory of Rick Grimes from ' The Walking Dead'. Provided they watched the show, of course. And provided they have any memories of anything at all.   

Buy Now: Zombie-hunter costumes on eBay
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13. Zombie Mask

Wearing zombie make-up is fun, but also a faff if you need to apply it several times a day. A zombie mask allows you to instantly switch back-and-forth between undead and un-undead, as the situation dictates. 

Buy Now: Zombie masks on eBay
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14. Zombie Wound

You don't want to be the only zombie out on the streets without a gory open wound – just 'cause you're undead, doesn't mean you can't keep up with the latest trends! 

Buy Now: Zombie wounds on eBay

More Ways To Survive the Zombie Apocalypse

Pull together your own zombie survival kit, zombie-proof your car in 12 easy steps, learn how to turn your home into an undead-proof fortress, and discover how to give yourself a disgustingly realistic zombie makeover.
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