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Details about  Cyclops Turbo Trainer

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Cyclops Turbo Trainer
Cyclops-Turbo-Trainer
Item Ended
Item condition:
Used
Ended:
16 May, 2012 21:02:46 BST
Winning bid:
£70.05
27 bids ]
Postage:
Free collection in person | See details
Item location:
bristol, Bristol, United Kingdom

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Description

eBay item number:
221019888017
Seller assumes all responsibility for this listing.

Item specifics

Condition:

Used

Type:

Turbo Trainers

Brand:

Cyclops

I'm selling this bastard thing because i HATE it.  

I’m sure there are people out there who like or even have a perverse love affair with their turbo trainer. It might even attract some sort of love/hate duality. I know for a fact that some people, many of them ostensibly sane with some hideously rapid times to their name, view the turbo as the essential piece of training equipment. Personally, i’d rather rip my face off and dive into a bath of saline solution than use this horrible piece of apparatus. It’s utterly soul-destroying and mind-numbing, which is a pretty vicious combination. 

The straw that broke the camel's back:

I thought i might do a ‘quick’ turbo session this evening. The reason being that the weather is pretty terrible and i hadn’t got the time to head down to the lake for the first race of the season. By the time i’d sorted out the rear turbo wheel by putting a tyre on and then pinching an inner tube, then changing the tyre and putting a new tube in, switching the cassette and setting up the bike and then setting up the computer with ‘The Flying Scotsman’ on the iplayer with headphones and subtitles (because of fearsome noise) to alleviate the dreadful and crushing ennui of it all and then got changed and put some water within reach and found my sweaty turbo towel that hasn’t been washed since the last time i dared to ride the bastard (turbo, not turbo towel) and wrestled with the quick release mechanism and then adjusted the height with a series of books under the front wheel by getting on and off about four times then adjusting the saddle height then going back and adjusting the resistance about 6 times with the manual turny thing, i’d wasted about 55 minutes. This was about as long as i intended to spend on the bastard piece of shit.

I managed about 11 minutes at about 70% of max before two things happened. The iplayer began to freeze and unfreeze, robbing me of the only thing that helped me think that i wasn’t actually on the turbo, and then without warning the back wheel leapt out of the dropout clasps and i had to do an emergency unclip and braking manouevre ON THE GODDAMNED TURBO just to stay alive. i suddenly lurched towards the computer where Graeme Obree was riding off the front of some sort of Tour of the Scottish Prettylands in the early part of the film and very nearly ended up joining the crazed circular-breathing scotsman on the silver screen. 

If you're made of far stronger stuff than I am, and I'm thinking Ivan Drago in Rocky 4 when he kills Apollo Creed to death - that sort of stronger stuff - and think you can handle the savage bestiality of the CYCLOPS WIND TURBO then please, please, please buy this REPULSIVE ITEM. 

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