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Details about  OMG! N64 Games Job Lot - Diddy, Lylat, F-Zero X, Rogue Squadron, Goldeneye w00p!

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OMG! N64 Games Job Lot - Diddy, Lylat, F-Zero X, Rogue Squadron, Goldeneye w00p!
OMG-N64-Games-Job-Lot-Diddy-Lylat-F-Zero-X-Rogue-Squadron-Goldeneye-w00p
Item Ended
Item condition:
Very Good
Ended:
18 Oct, 2011 22:22:55 BST
Winning bid:
£10.00
8 bids ]
Postage:
Will post to United Kingdom. Read item description or contact seller for postage options. | See details
Item location:
Falmouth, United Kingdom

Description

eBay item number:
290618113851
Seller assumes all responsibility for this listing.

Item specifics

Condition:
Very Good: An item that has been used, but is in very good condition. No damage to the jewel case or item ... Read moreabout the condition
Platform:

Nintendo 64

Format:

PAL (UK Standard)

WELCOME, ONE AND ALL!!!

My lovely alluring ladies and naturally gregarious gentlemens of youthful spark and senior years alike; WELCOME to this journey of listings, biddings, expectations and excitement, titillating keyboard tapings,the worrying and warnings at work for watching the final seconds waning... the joy of the ultimate WIN! Or, lord forbid, my own teary face at the zero bid and re-listing (which is where YOU, the chosen listing trawlers and efforts in abundance for the ebay bargain come into fruition!!).

Yes, unfortunately my time with you is limited and as I am seller and you potential buyer, our relationship will only ever be temporal and under the guise of formality; ye olde supply and demand. So what are the objects of today's audacious action? Weeeeeell:


We have: 1 x Goldeneye - A game in which a secret agent man with dashing dark locks must shoot-to-kill as many Russians (oops, I mean "Soviets") as possible whilst maintaining his God given right to sleep with any woman he deems fit. And before you ask if he has a license for all those bodies, he sure has. The "Goldeneye" bit I believe refers to the alluring sparkle found in his enamouring iris. There are many women in this game that you both kill and sleep with, not necessarily in that order but I can't vouch for what happens behind the scenes. In Homeric style I shall leave no part of the plot to the imaginaiton: his dead friend at the beginning isn't really dead and turns out to be the last boss. OoOoOooo...

Next up!: 1 x Lylat Wars Aka StarFox 64 Aka Star Wars: Animal Hospital Edition - Here's an interesting fact: Shigeru Miyamoto absolutely LOVED Thunderbirds. He loved puppets. He loved their puppet mouths. And he loved making freaking awesome games. The result? He put a blue blackbird, one swanky fox, a wise old rabbit, and one crusty ass toad in that magic cauldron of wonders they call NINTENDO, stirred it up with Megatron's leg and sneezed some Japanese CooooooL in there and the Lylat Wars Cartridge fell out. If you're not shouting "DO A BARREL ROLL" after a couple days with this game, I'm afraid there really is something missing from your soul.

The screen rolls back for number 3 (which should damn well be number one!): 1 x Star Wars: Rogue Squadron - Duuuuhh, duuuuhh, duh duh duh duuuuuhhhh duuuuuhhh duh duh duh duuuuhhh duuuhhhh, duh duh duh duuuuuuuhhh!!!!! Yes, that is me in the star wars adidas shirt, and I am frowning because that is the only way I can hold back the excruciating tears from giving up this game. You are a Hero. You are saving the universe. You have some of the best God damned flight skills in the galaxy and you can hit a Wamprat with your eyes closed and apple-gagged. Tell me this isn't real. Go on youtube now and watch the final trench run on the Death Star, watch it explode and tell me that's not you in that X-Wing. It IS you. So go and tell all your friends, but whatever you do don't forget to buy this game so you have the proof when they tell you they're sure it was them not you.....

Let's get WILD for the next contender, it's 1 x F-Zeeeeeerooooo X!! - The "X" means everything, it means EXTREEEEME!!!!! Are you EXTREME? Maybe; but are you EXTREME enough to rip that first stinking "E" off the front of the word, hell pull all those other dam letters off of there apart from the "X" because if you're REALLY EXTREME, the "X" is all you need. You're so EXTREME you have to take your pen off of the paper when writing "X" - have a think, how many letters do you have to do that with? The answer: NOT MANY!! Throw it down on a scrabble board - 8 point straight to YOU. eXecution, eXponential, eXacerbate, Xenophobia, saXophone.... all words that have "X" in... all words you rarely use. You're eXtreme on the weekends after you've had your egg mayo sandwich for supper....

FINALLY: 1 x Diddy Kond Racing - Honestly, I'm not really going to make the effort. I bought this a long time ago because review said (and I have never forgotten this): "this game is everything Mario Kart should have been". If you want to compare this game to Mario Kart, it is the un-combusted drip that seeps out of the back of Bowser's Kart exhaust while he nails Toad into the wall on his own Toad's Turnpike at 250CC's. Some people love this game. These people are deprived mentally and emotionally. For a start, it's DIDDY KONG. You know what the name "Diddy" immediately makes me think of? Tiny male genitalia. Or even worse, tiny monkey genitalia. I can't believed I wasn't savagely bullied at school for having this game instead of Mario Kart. I would have bullied me. Do you know what it's like when people come around your house, see your N64, 4 controllers, and immediately ask with utter glee if you have Mario Kart thinking that they already know the answer? They're half way through your rack of games looking for that damn beautiful Italian smile when you tell them that you've got " eerr  Diddy....erm... Kong...racing..." You know what they do? They just turn around and slap you in the face. Honest to the lord. And do you know what you do? You look at them through tears, and you say with complete earnestness - Thank You.


Whilst all these magic little cartridges of wonder are fully working (I have probably been a bit hard on Diddy, it's not so bad, Hugh Heffner would probably have endowment issues standing in front of Donkey Kong) there are no boxes. As far as I can remember, I actually loved these games so much, I ate the cases. That's right, I ate them. I ate the cardboard. I ate the instructions manuals. And by hell I ate the promotions leaflets as well. You know why? Because they will always be a part of me. Always. So if you want to be part of something really special, buy these games and become a part of this undying love. Bid high. As high as you possibly can. Keep bidding until you find someone else wants this more than you do and keeps bidding against you. And you know what you do then? You bid more to PROVE that you are the best. That you can't be beaten. You bid for Diddy, for Fox, for Wedge, for James and for any of those F-Zero X characters whose names I can't remember. You show them that you are willing to part with hard-earned virtual (but ultimately real) money in order to make them yours. And do you know why? Because you're a WINNER!!!


Any questions, any questions whatsoever, any musings, ideas, input, comments, suggestions, complaints, compliments..... please, please do leave a question.

Much love to all you bidders and you sidelining voyeuristic watchers.
Happy Bidding

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