as hens teeth, in fact its rarer than hens teeth, I once visited a man in Bloxwich who had a rare breed of chicken that had teeth, the sabre toothed chicken was a bit of a handfull and would only eat meat, the gentleman had a green pickup, it was a Marina pick up and was really rare, rarer than his chicken with teeth!!! anyway i think we've covered the teeth issue and i think i got my point across that this is quite a rare little ute indeed.
She runs very well on petrol, not so good on water or any other liquid, you could try water but i doubt very much if youl have any joy, you might end up scrapping it and then if there are any more of these rare little trucks about they will be rarer than erm hens teeth!!!
She is as rotten as the proverbial Pear in fact ive got Pears at the bottom of my Orchard that have sat there since they fell from the tree in September and are not as rotten as the bed and floor of this RARE ROTTEN little truck, they are so rotten that if you tried to pick them up youd get all festering Pear in your hand and no one likes having a festering PARE in your hand, its almost as bad as festering Plumbs, and beleive me festering Plumbs are painful in any hands, My mate had festering Plumbs and there was no Jam to be made at all and his mrs prefered my festering pair to his festering plumbs but thats a story for Jeremy Kyle.
so the floor needs welding!!! I think i made that clear.
The Engine is a 1275 A series and runs sweet as a Nut? why do people say sweet as a nut? Nuts arent sweet are they? Oh come to think about it my mates mrs thought my nuts were sweet so I guess they must be! it must be the way you grow them.
the brakes are NON exsistent abit like my mates sex life, actualy these brakes probably have seen more womens heels than my mates bedroom but to be fair this RARE ROTTEN little trucks ceiling has seen more womens heels than my mates bedroom ceiling has.
there was a pair of lacey knickers found behind the passenger side seat that look like they had been at the bottom of my Orchard with the Plumbs and Pears, mind you they tasted like Trevors Tastey Torment made from essence of Crab fingernails and slugs earwax, "so my mate tells me" erm where was I?
Now there are no mod cons with this RARE ROTTEN little truck, no radio, no sat nav, no abs, no anti corrosion, no air bags, no side impact bars, no rain sensors on the windscreen, no heated seats, no steering headlamps, no tyre presure sensors, no heated front screen no heated rear screen, no electronic goodies like CD, electric windows, electric seats, tv dvd "blueray" ??? what the hell is blueray anyway? what happened to good old fasioned BETAmax???
however what electrics it does have all seem to work as they should, unlike the brakes which I think I covered in an earlier analogy.
The tryes! well I could go on for a while about bald and several euphemisms later youd be thinking this bloke needs help!!! sufice to say, they aint road worthy.
The Key for the ignition has been updated in the manner that all granddads did in the 70s and 80s by welding or brazing a 2" penny washer to the broken end because the little black plastic cover was never man enough and always snapped off after many winter mornings trying to start the damn things.
the carpet or floor covering doesnt actualy exsist so theres no creature comforts at all, although I imagine its kept some creatures comfortable in its life but probably not as comfortable as the farmer kept them!!! say no more....
I suspect this RARE ROTTEN little truck was owned by a woman due to the lack of wing mirrors, Only women drive without wing mirrors its a proven fact that they are a distraction to women as they keep trying to get away from whats coming up from behind!!! apart from my mates mrs!! I was always coming up on her from behind!! mind you she didnt have a dent free undamaged little green tailgate, her back doors were always getting knocked about..
The seat covers have seen better days and are full of stains, infact ive never seen so many stains since my mate went to Stains to have his festering Plumbs checked out...
there is NO MOT and NO TAX so please do not ask if you can drive her home to Morroco to your hareem, you will need to trailer her away, she does drive but ever since I got banned from driving for 12 months for selling a friend a motorbike at the age of 15 I will never allow anyone to drive an un roadworthy car away from me again, my mates been paying for that ever since....!!! say no more.....
so there you have it! a rare little truck that deserves saving unlike my mates marriage.
any questions please call me on 07768805693. Anthony.
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On 28-Oct-11 at 12:38:26 BST, seller added the following information:
absolutely ace i reckon there is a club they will go to a local working mans club with crap beer the ugliest barmaid available and moan about modern cars and swap pictures of there beige and check seats while stroking there beards!
Noooo working mans clubs are too hard core for Marina owners, If the club does exsist then i think its a personal thing, where they both arange to meet the same time every month seperately in their own homes, so no one knows they belong to this immaginary club, and they both sit in their own outside lavatories with pictures of their favorite mustard coloured Marina nailed to the door, and they are not stroking any beards at this time I can tell you!!!! their wives are the sort we call GILFs Grandma Id love to fondle....
On 29-Oct-11 at 21:45:38 BST, seller added the following information:
Hi Again Bentley, I'd really love to view your comprehensive portfolio of backdoorism. I remember the days of "backdoor brutality" well. Nowadays with the politically correct squadron such things are a thing of the past. Backdoors must be dripping in lube or it would be deemed an "illegal activity". The pioneering days of backdoor abuse were certainly in my opinion better days. A Transit van with a pishy mattress on the floor, blacked out rear windows and a "dry set of doors" waiting to get sorted out was the ultimate for me. Regards, Jim.
On 29-Oct-11 at 21:47:09 BST, seller added the following information:
yeah that was me wanted the boat but cant swim!bought the cases off a guy in a yellow 3 wheeled van a while ago he said they were executive if you know what i mean and he was goin to throw them in the river but i stopped him and bought some,dusty bin a classic remeber catchfrase with roy wanker he said say what you see,i see a pile of shit with this pick up of yours!will it weigh in for anything or is all the rust and rot ate all the good metal!
On 29-Oct-11 at 22:04:46 BST, seller added the following information:
As for your friend sore plums I cannot feel any sympathy with him as I spent 12 months in prison with only my cock to keep me company and a fading erotic memory of plum sex.
So if you don’t mind I just will nor laugh, I hope you understand.
Colonel Plum with the candle stick Wandsworth Prision
On 31-Oct-11 at 08:30:23 GMT, seller added the following information:
To all following this sale please beware as I believe it could be a scam however a very dear friend of my Ex Wife has the original bag of rusty dust which was to 1912 proto type of the now world famous Rusty Marina Truck. It was not so much ahead of is time with the onset of the Austin 7 and Ford Model T but a pure UK vision of how utility transport should develop. The development of this wonder vehicle was held up due to the first world war and economic hardships that endured between the Crimean war and Spanish Revelation and then obviously the Second world war. After some time in moth balls Mrs Thatcher (PM) was so taken by this project she bought the company and soon closed it to stop the technology getting into the reds hands due to the trade unions believing this could be as big as Apollo and this is borne out by Mrs’s T’s Ta Tar Tate with Reagan the UAS President. Although the project when into limited production (hence the rare as hen’s teeth quote) I have inside information from one of my many Wife’s friends that David Cameron sees this as are only way out of our current economic problems. I don’t now have a contact number for my friend but he has been seen recently with my ex Wife, her lover and a Judge who has strange stains on the back of his trousers in an area call Plum Heaven Farm, I believe he wants 1,000,000 Chinese Yen which I’m not sure if that more or less than the current £250 bid, both seem cheap. Collection can be via post or vacuum cleaner
On 31-Oct-11 at 17:34:07 GMT, seller added the following information:
I cant beleive the interest this RARE ROTTEN little truck is getting, its had over 6,000 views....
On 04-Nov-11 at 07:01:14 GMT, seller added the following information:
Obituary of the late Colonel Mustard. We write to inform you of the untimely death of Colonel Mustard, leading expert the Plum world. His ex wife Victoria who only recently been vote rear of the year at the anal Rusty Mariana Truck dinner & dance was said to be beside herself, her ex lover, the judge and a black market dealer in BL utility world. Although eye brows were raised when the late Colonel Mustard was incarcerated at was mainly those of his ex wife?s lover . Details of the Colonels death are at the moment sketchy but is believed he was stoned to death in Afghanistan, a rare honour in this backward land considering how rare plums are. CM had been struggling to get over his wife?s infidelity with most of the Midlands ebay society which is believed to be a cover for old men with rusty marina trucks but things were looking up for CM when he was asked to advise on the construction of a new range of rusty Mariana range which was to be assembled in Afghanistan funded by funds