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This Is Not A Drill: Just Another Glorious Day in the Oilfield by Paul Carter (Paperback, 2011)

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He's stuck in the middle of the Russian sea on a rig staffed by a crew from Azerbaijan.

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The outrageous sequel to Don't Tell Mum I Work on the Rigs (She Thinks I'm a Piano Player in a Whorehouse) brings more great stories from the far side of civilization - hilarious, full of humour, colourful characters and dramatic action! Just another glorious day in the oilfield for Paul Carter! He's stuck in the middle of the Russian sea on a rig staffed by a crew from Azerbaijan. The choppers are older than him and can only fly by line of sight, turning back regularly due to the weather which gets particuarly interesting when they are past the point of no return with half there fuel gone and they are committed to finding the rig in a fog that's thicker than a Big Brother housemate. The closest thing to a hotel for miles around is the Asylum, a former soviet mental institution that now houses offshore personnel en-route to the rig, where his room mates are Vodka Bob - who drinks Guinness for breakfast when he's not on the rig - Sick Boy, who snores like a pit bull being hot-waxed and Sealbasher. In his inimitable style Paul Carter regales us with his colourful adventures from the front line of thee oil industry and the far side of civilization!