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United Kingdom
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United Kingdom


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Item condition:
17 Nov, 2011 21:50:32 GMT
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Item location:
East Sheen, London, United Kingdom


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Last updated on  17 Nov, 2011 15:59:25 GMT  View all revisions

Item specifics

Condition: Used Brand: Yeti
Brake Type: All Disc Type: Mountain Bike
Wheel Size: 26 inches Frame Size: Large
Frame Material: Aluminium Suspension: Front Suspension
Frame Colour: Yeti blue/white

(Thanks very much to the nearly 9000 people who've had a look and all those who've had a comment to make, it's been a really interesting exercise. The full - 'no axe to grind' - 'no more mega-rich' manifesto will - probably - be up here in a short re-list when this 'auction'ends. A lot of people asked for it)

Yup, you read it right, £40,000.00

(8,000 page views, 200 watchers, loads of cool emails, loads of debate, the phone number for the Samaritans, a multi-millionaire banker who doesn't get it and a few wasters with no brains who don't get anything - I had no idea going bankrupt would be so entertaining!)

12 months ago I would have had maybe a hundred people watching the auction that just finished for this bike (it finished without a single bid on a give-away £1850 start price). I would have had offers within minutes and would almost certainly have sold it for over £2500.00. It seems that ebayers no longer have any money and are scared of spending any, which I totally understand as I'm only selling everything I own because I'm nearly out of cash, nearly homeless, very in debt and only a 'Happy-Meal' away from bankruptcy. 

So why does no-one have any money? Maybe because the bankers and property developers who did very well in the 'good times' are  - like most people who already have too much money - the ones who pull their purse strings in tightest when times are not so good. Result, money stops circulating - from the top down. People lose their jobs, go broke, stop buying stuff on ebay and lose their homes, and the people who did best in the good times emerge at the other end with their savings intact wondering why all the sandwich bars near their office have mysteriously closed down.

All of which got me thinking, since some of the bankers, traders and property developers I've met could lose £40k on a single deal before breakfast and not have it spoil their day, I was kind of hoping someone like them might see this as a way to re-circulate some of the money that the rest of us are paying for with the interest on our debts and buy my bike! Indirectly, the full £40k will go back into the system and save the ordinary taxpayer because, if I go bankrupt, the remaining taxpayers will be directly and indirectly picking up the tab for £40k that the nice men at the tax office/bank/credit card etc will be rubbing off what I owe them, and the bill will go back to all the other poor sods with enough problems of their own while I go into hibernation until it's all over!

All I've done for 13-years is work my nuts off building a reputation as the best therapist in London whilst earning less than a trainee manager at your local 'Prat-for-a-Manager' coffee shop, helping hundreds of people get their lives back where no-one else could and helping a growing number of cyclists ride faster than they ever thought possible. Now a lot of people can't afford to see me for treatment and no one can afford to buy my possessions on ebay, both of which have made a huge contribution to my rather nasty personal debt of - you guessed it - £40k. 

So, if it would make your day to keep me working helping everyone else and re-circulate some of the profit you're still making at everyone else's expense, buy my bike! A minor pre-breakfast blip that you wouldn't even notice for you, a whole new life for me and £40k less for everyone else to pay in tax. 

If you don't actually need the bike, just pay for it and I'll donate it to someone who can't afford it but would love to have it, with your compliments. In a fair world etc etc . . .  

Go on, you know you want to!

If you're not a banker or a property developer but know any with a good sense of humour, send them a link to this auction, maybe they'd have a good laugh too. Thanks for reading

I've taken the text about the bike out now as I'm sure most people who've had a look aren't actually interested in buying it. But if you are, let me know and I'll send you the full spec, the photos do a good job.

Yorky271171 sent me a stonking question/comment. He shot himself in the head with every statement and, as my response made pretty much every point I was trying to make with this ad, I thought I'd put it here.

I read with interest your comments berrating bankers and investors alike. As amusing your uneducated rant was, I would love to interject a little and contribute towards your adgenda somewhat. For the past 15 years I have worked tirelessly for Barclays PLC as an investments and projections analyist. In that time I have probably netted a small fortune of certainly no less than 21,000,000 £ sterling. As my salary represents bonuses earned on the back of profits, I have also made barclays PLC at least £600,000,000. Since the minimum taxation liability they contributed would be £240,000,000 I would summise that this is considerably more than you have given to the HM treasury. If these salaries were not available to persons like myself, then we would simply relocate to the many employers around the globe who, on a daily basis beg for our talents, and contribute to their economy. If however you feel that these figures still justify your ignorant rantings carry on with futility

Hi Yorky, thanks very much for being the first parasite with sufficient lack of self-respect to speak up. My comments are merely responses to yours so please take them personally, they also apply to all who share your views and you occupation. You assert that I am uneducated which clearly offends you. You are a shameless parasite which really offends me and, for someone so obviously well educated, your spelling sucks.

I too have worked tirelessly - for nearly 40 years - but have earned only 2.5% of what you’ve been paid 

in only 15 years 

(can’t use the word ‘earned' as that would imply the payment was commensurate with input, which it wasn't).


I’m not a communist or a socialist and believe good knowledge, hard work and responsibility should be paid for and have nothing against people with 'big' bank accounts. (Self made millionaires who risked everything in the process I've every respect for. What exactly have you or any banker ever risked that was yours in the first place?) 

There is nothing that makes you worth 90.4 of me or anyone else! any more than the amount of tax revenue the BHS parasite cheated us out of with his bonus makes him worth as much as any of the 29,000 people who had to pay tax for a whole year to replace the exact amount our  government allowed him to - effectively - take. (Yup, even the 'uneducated' and 'undeserving' can use a calculator). Don’t get me wrong, if some idiot offered me the £1.4m a year you claim to have 'earned' I wouldn’t say no. But, like most of the people who’ve read and commented on this auction, I would probably work for a year then go on holiday forever, because I could. I would not likely feel the need to earn your insane amounts of money year on year only to justify doing so by whining about how much I and my employers have to pay in tax to support the "undeservings".

In a reasonable world, banks would have the job of administering the movement of the Green Shield Stamps we call money on behalf of their government because it it after all OUR money being looked after by them for us – it is not yours In return for this, you would be paid a normal civil servants wage, because that's what you are. If we then had to pay the government a fee for borrowing some of the governments (our) money occasionally, all the fee would go into our government to be spent on/for US. Instead, it gets called interest, most of it goes in your pocket and you want us to be grateful to you for giving back as little as you could get away with in taxes!

If, having amassed enough money to live 50 lifetimes, you could no longer earn silly money here you say you would happily leave the country that you think should be grateful to you for your efforts to make us all bankrupt and go somewhere else in search of more money to feed your sickness. What makes this whole situation clinically insane and totally unacceptable is the simple underlaying truth that what you and banks do generates nothing. No product, no betterment of anything, nothing – except profit. And that’s the point. The profit is made by people who have been given control of our money for the benefit of themselves and the few others who, like them, already have too much, utterly regardless of what you cost everyone else.

In fairness to you, you’re just an expendable little wheel in the banking machine, a henchman for the drug barons of the economic world if you like, but the fact that you’re willing to self-righteously cream off big chunks of what millions of people have to pay in interest makes you nothing other than a shameless parasite. That is not an opinion, it's an unchallengeable fact, proven by your conduct and by dictionary definition. Sorry, there is no defense. The work and charges paid by millions (to borrow money that most banks technically never actually had in the first place) creamed off by the few, too bloated with self-righteousness to look down and see or care who they’re stamping on. 

“Employers around the globe are begging for my talents”, I don’t doubt it you pompous oink. If I was one of the best ‘hit-men’ on the planet, loads of people would seek me out and pay hugely for my talents, wouldn’t make me a nice guy with a worthy profession would it! The opinion of the majority of people who have to unwillingly share this country with people like you is that you couldn't leave our unworthy shores soon enough. The only law I’d like to pass before you go is that the money you made in this country off the backs of the “tireless” but modestly paid work of ordinary people in this country stays in this country, you know where the door is. 

“Uneducated” and “ignorant”? Well, maybe I’m not as well read as you and the guys at 'the bank' , but I seem to have a knack of seeing the equivalent of the “zeroth law of thermo-dynamics’ in most things under my nose, the whole money based scam called banking included. As Mr Einstein said, “any idiot can make things complicated, it takes a genius to make them simple”. Clearly, from everything you’ve said, you are one very disconnected little machine with a warped sense of reality. I’d rather be ignorant, uneducated and broke than be one of you. Closing thought on that one: you and your mates took your millions in bonuses when there were profits. When you made enough losses to bankrupt half the planet, were you given a bill for the same percentage of the losses? Didn’t think so. And you wonder why people despise you. 

Again, thanks for having the balls to put a flashing light on your head with your comments, read the other comments and see which one of us is the outcast. Honest Yorky271171, You're a bit like the bloke with bushy sideburns who stood up at a nazi party rally and said his granny has a great recipe for bagels! And, lets be honest, you didn't actually say what it was I said that was wrong, but everything you said puts your official stamp of confirmation that everything I said or implied is absolutely right. 

If you don't like my attitude or my grammar, I will gladly close the auction for your benefit  . . . . come on Yorky, it's only forty grand!  


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