Excellent Parenting Advice - How to never ask twice and other common problems
This book was recommended to me by a friend. After starting to read her copy and finding that the advice worked immediately for me, I ordered the book and I can not recommend it enough. The chapters cover for example descriptive praise, different aspects of communicating with your child, rewards and consequences. This all doesn't sound new, but how the core strategies are put into practice were definitely new and somehow an eye opener for me. Even though the author recommends to not skip and to read the book properly from the beginning to the end, I could not resist to read the chapter "Never ask twice" first, as I was recently despairing about exactly that issue. Asking to help tidying up, sitting down for dinner, packing bags for school etc and not getting any response at all can be very frustrating in the long term and makes parents feel as if they are forever nagging. Noel gives absolutely excellent advice on this point. As a rough summary: you are asking them to do something (make sure they are not in front of a screen at that time). She explains that children are so focused on what they are doing when they are in the middle of something that in the first instance we have to make sure to get their full attention. Also, expect that your child will do what has been asked at the first time. Do NOT repeat yourselves (unless the child asks you to repeat because it did not understand). She advises to go to your child, stand there and look at the child. Wait until the child stops what it is doing and looks at you. Then give a clear instruction. Ask the child to repeat the instruction. Then stand there and wait until the child starts doing what you asked for. If you do not get a response ask politely whether they heard what you said and actually expect them to do it. Then praise every step into the right direction. With praise she means specific praise, such as "well done, you found your shoes" etc. This did work for me and I also found the other aspects covered by the book very helpful.