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Confessions of a Mask by Yukio Mishima (Paperback, 2017)

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Title: Confessions of a Mask: Yukio Mishima (Penguin Modern Classics). Publisher : Penguin Classics 1st edition (7 Sept 2017). He imagines his body punctured with arrows like the body of St Sebastian in the painting that obsesses him.

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The dawning of a young man's homosexual and sadistic desires A Japanese teenager is overcome with longing for his male classmate. Each night he imagines his body punctured with arrows, like the body of St Sebastian in Guido Reni's painting; the objects of our hero's desire are tortured, killed and maimed, over and over again each night in his private fantasies. He must hide his lust from a homophobic and stiflingly conventional Japan. Self-loathing and desperate, he begins acting out a love affair with the sister of a school friend, while grappling with his hidden desires under the shadow of a Japan under threat from World War Two.