Giraffes? Giraffes! by Doris Haggis-On-Whey (2004, Hardcover)

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Condition:
Like New
Very minor blemish on blue faux-leather back cover, otherwise Like New, unread. Pages tight. Includes a mint set of giraffe trading cards carefully attached to the inside back cover. No jacket as issued.

About this product

Product Identifiers

PublisherMcsweeney's Publishing
ISBN-101932416048
ISBN-139781932416046
eBay Product ID (ePID)30446061

Product Key Features

Book TitleGiraffes? Giraffes!
Number of Pages63 Pages
LanguageEnglish
TopicGeneral, Animals / General, Animals / Giraffes
Publication Year2004
IllustratorYes
GenreJuvenile Fiction
AuthorDoris Haggis-On-Whey
Book SeriesHow Books: Haggis-On-Whey World of Unbelievable Brillance Ser.
FormatHardcover

Dimensions

Item Height0.5 in
Item Weight47.6 Oz
Item Length12.2 in
Item Width9.2 in

Additional Product Features

Intended AudienceTrade
Dewey Edition22
Dewey Decimal818/.607
SynopsisGIRAFFES? GIRAFFES! For many years the scientific and educational community has wondered and worried about the possibility that semi-sane scholar-pretenders would find the means to put out a series of reference books, filled with ludicrous misinformation and aimed at children. So here we are with GIRAFFES? GIRAFFES! by Dr. and Mr. Doris Haggis-On-Whey. A world-renowned and much feared expert on everything, Dr. Doris Haggis-On-Whey has seventeen degrees from eighteen institutions of higher learning. With her husband, Benny, she has traveled the world many times over, has learned about all aspects of life, including outer space and food, first hand. When is the last time you actually sat down and had a conversation with a giraffe? That's what I thought. You are hopelessly clueless on giraffe culture, their likes/dislikes and voting patterns -- most giraffes are probably libertarian. GIRAFFES? GIRAFFES! is the authoritative text on the biology, history and overall nature of giraffes. You are so behind on giraffes that it's rather embarrassing and you obviously need this book more than health insurance. Things you probably don't know about giraffes -- and can only be found in this book -- include giraffes' preferred mode of transportation (conveyor belt), what their bodies are made of (paper mache, a clock, fruit juices and a super-strong lightweight titanium alloy), where most giraffes live (Terra Haute, Indiana -- known for many things, including buildings made of wood and ground made of dirt), and basic giraffe history (in 50,000 B.C giraffes began to hang out with primitive man, they found him to be likeable and helped him paint buffaloes in caves). Cheat Sheet on Giraffes (good for slumber parties and barroom brawls): Giraffes invented plastic. "No, not plastic--latex. My bad. Still, though isn't that amazing?" Frequently Asked Question: Why do we call giraffes "giraffes?" Answer: Because when they came to Earth they asked us to. Rarely Asked Question: How fast can giraffes run? The giraffes have tried to phase out running from their lives but if they had to, they could still run much faster than you. Let's say, for the sake of argument, that they can run 780 mph. With the wit and irreverent sense of humor for which Dave Eggers and McSweeney's is known, comes the first volume in the revolutionary Haggis-On-Whey World of Unbelievable Brilliance books. More than just entertaining and informative, GIRAFFES? GIRAFFES! will help you appear smarter, more in touch with your sensitive side and whiten your teeth. And much, much more that will likely sicken you.

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