Table Of Contentcontentspart one: what is it?The Bride, the Groom, and the Dog 3The Broken Promise 9Bill Wilson 21Abusers vs. Addicts 35The Brain 43Trance and Obsession 51Tolerance and Shame 63Adultery 73part two: what causes it?Repetition 83The Body 93Old Age Is a New Thing 103Environment 107Is Sex Addiction the Male Version of Female Bulimia? 113All of the Above 119part three: what can we do about it?Let's Change the Way We Describe Addiction 127A Community of One 135Storytelling 143How Others Tell the Story 153Conscience and Remorse 159The Dog Again 165Bibliography 171
SynopsisWe've all felt the giddy flutter of excitement when our new lover walks into the room. Waited by the phone, changed our plans...But are we in love, or is there something darker at work? InDesire: Where Sex Meets Addiction, Susan Cheever explores the shifting boundaries between the feelings of passion and addiction, desire and need, and she raises provocative and important questions about who we love and why. Elegantly written and thoughtfully composed, Cheever's book combines unsparing and intimate memoir, interviews and stories, hard science and psychology to explore the difference between falling in love and falling prey to an addiction. Part one defines what addiction is and how it works -- the obsession, the betrayals, the broken promises to oneself and others. Part two explores the possible causes of addiction -- is it nature or nurture, a permanent condition or a temporary derangement? Part three considers what we can do about it, including a provocative suggestion about how we describe and treat addiction, and a look at the importance of community and storytelling. In the end, there are no easy answers. "A straight look about some crooked feelings," Desire shows us the difference between the addiction that cripples our emotions, and healthy, empowering love that enhances our lives., Cheever presents an intimate, provocative meditation on love, sex, and addiction; explores the boundaries between passion and addiction, desire and need; and raises important questions about how people love and why.