This Victorian Playground: v. 2 by Mike Pinkstone (Paperback, 2008) for sale online

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I arive in a Transit van, which I seem to do rather a lot. Before me is a scene of utter devastation. It's like the aftermath of a Tourettes sufferers' beer festival...I do solemnly and sincerely declare and affirm that I will well and truly serve the Queen in the office of constable, with fairness, integrity, diligence and impartiality, upholding fundamental human rights and according equal respect to all people; and that I will, to the best of my power, cause the peace to be kept and preserved and prevent all offences against people and property; and that while I continue to hold the said office I will to the best of my skill and knowledge discharge all the duties thereof faithfully according to law...by doing lots of pointless, ineffective things, ...but in a streamlined, efficient and business-like manner. Ah. Knew that we'd gone wrong somewhere along the line. Welcome to 'This Victorian Playground'...